5 July 2012

Today I had a mildly disastrous day in the kitchen - largely inspired by a general lack of sleep and a petit hangover (that's what you get when you drink nine small glasses of wine at a tasting). In retrospect, we probably should not have stopped at the pub on the way home, but my sisters-in-law were visiting so we thought we should show them around town.

Disaster No.1 - Brandy snap baskets. These pointless receptacles get their 'lacey' appearance from the lemon juice added to the biscuit batter. I made a batch, tested a biscuit, found it to be rather solid, added more lemon, tested another biscuit, no change, added more lemon juice and so on until I finally got to the SIXTH batch - by that stage they tasted solely of lemon, still weren't 'lacey', and I was starting to get more than a little cranky. But I made a dozen of them anyway, shaped them over an upturned cup and went and made myself a cup of coffee. The moral here? There is none. Brandy snaps are simply a pain in the bum. 

Disaster No.2 - Handmade mini chocolate cases. Do yourself a favour and buy some ready-made. I spent 10 minutes painting melted chocolate on the inside of a mini patty pan with the back of a teaspoon and for what? So they could all fall apart when I tried to peel off the paper. The solution here was simple - ask the teacher for some ready-made cases and then proceed to fill each one with raisins, banana, walnuts and rum. Of course I told my sisters-in-law that I made them all myself. 

Hair of the dog - rum and raisin chocolates

Handmade chocolate cases, or 'little bastards' as I prefer to call them

There is a current squid shortage in Ireland and it is having an adverse effect on me. I thought I was cooking salt and pepper squid today but because there was none I had to make crab mayonnaise instead. Squid are prepared in a matter of minutes. Crabs are prepared by teasing out each micro-particle of flesh with the back of a teaspoon (more teaspoon work! Why am I being punished?!) I also had to make my own mayonnaise (with my poor arm that was already exhausted from all the repetitive wine glass lifting I had to do last night). But the end result was actually worth the effort - a silky mixture of crab, mayonnaise, dill, pepper and lemon which I artfully placed back into its shell. Some may say the presentation was a little tacky, but let me just say that without the shell, the mixture looked suspiciously like a something the cat threw up. Mmm, tasty.  

River cafe caramel ice cream - a labour of love and my one true triumph today. This 15-egg-yolk, three-pints-of-cream heart-stopper took an hour to make, an hour to cool and then an hour to churn, but the result was epic. Luscious, velvety and cinder-toffee sweet. So heavenly that I was reluctant to scoop it into those unworthy little brandy baskets, but I did, because even though they tasted like citrus dishwashing liquid, they were pretty. And I did warn my guests not to eat them. River cafe, I salute you.

Dessert for The Editor and his sisters (Notice how I have used the colours of the Irish flag for extra brownie points)

Today my sisters-in-law and I learned how to cook: Seared or grilled tuna with chermoula, Seared tuna with piperonata and tapenade, Chargrilled swordfish with roast red pepper salsa, Tuna carpaccio with Asian dressing, Rick Stein's chermoula, Duck legs with onions and thyme leaves, Duck legs with white turnips, Duck leg roast with honey and rosemary, Confit de canard, Duck confit salad, Roast duck salad with lentils pomegranate and rocket leaves, Salad of organic leaves with parmesan and lemon juice, Jalousie, Tarte francaise, Strawberry tart, Plum tart, Apricot tart, and French wafers.

Over and out xx